My personal life.

[tsumik]

So it makes you wonder. Outside of all the bravado and hollywood. Of all the real things out there. Who's to know what the real logical answer is. When does one stop listening to what your heart and emotions tell you and start listening to what's real. And am I caught up in this moment. Is it just the feeling of falling again that I'm really breathless with? Or is this the feeling I need to not screw up this time, to cast doubt upon, and to own up to what I really feel.

I know beyond my ego that I am an amazing person. I can see myself outside my own window and realize that while I'm not the most amazing person out there that I am someone who is not to be taken lightly of heart. I throw myself with passion at things only to decide to throw them again somewhere else. But when will I stop going somewhere else? Do I go full circle or do I go forward and never look back.

Risk.

So many of them. And the measure of greatness in success and failure is how much risk we're willing to take. They always say it's better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all. But I am scared. Just how far does the rabbit hole really go? I'm not sure all my errands are done and I don't know if I've completed everything that needs to be tied up, but I wish I knew that answer.

I know when it comes to personal matters so deep into my heart I've always talked in esoterics to you all. Sort of blended thoughts, and complex riddles that really only I could ever understand. But hopefully someday I can let this all go off my shoulders so you can all understand.

Comments

[sofiebgoode.livejournal.com]

i feel the same about love so much of the time. makes me go crazy sometimes :(

[marynificent.livejournal.com]

I like this entry. :)

Why are we so full of restraint?
Why do we not give in all directions?
Is it fear of losing ourselves?
Until we do lose ourselves
there is no hope of finding ourselves.

--henry miller

[tsumik.livejournal.com]

*hug* but hopefully someday it will be like walking out into the sunshine in a summer field with a breeze. =)

Thank you =)

[tsumik.livejournal.com]

And I do fear losing myself. Cause last couple times I did that I almost didn't come back.

[sofiebgoode.livejournal.com]

exactly! that's exactly what love should feel like most of the time.
you find the right words in so many situations, thank you for that. *hugs*