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Time to do some rambling
Aug. 21st, 2004 05:10 amI'm tired. Turning to face a different day. I find that my apathy grows harder and my feelings growing colder daily. I've lost something. And the ones that helped me loose it knows who they are. And I don't think I'm ever going to get that back. But i's refreshing in sort of a way. To know you reached the limit to where you can be and find that now everything just feels like your underwater.
The sounds are softer, the movements are slower, and the sunlight only comes in trails not warm blanketed sheets. I've been dreaming alot lately. And alot of them are really disturbing. None that I really wish to remember but all pointing to a great sense of loss. But I've never been a quitter.
It's tiresome thing now to think your not wanted. More just like cold medicine you keep in your cabinet when your sick. Only when you actually need it. I'm definitely turning inward. And there hasn't been anyone to show me any reason not to.
I've been out more times then I have fingers. I've met, courted, dated, befriended more people then there are days in a month. And yet nothing. Just like a blank stare, nothing. And now I feel it creeping into everything. What needs to be done gets done with no passion as once was before. I'm here just waiting for the next page.
But at least I'm alive to touch upon the little joys around us in life. It seems sometimes that is all that is truely left good amoung us.
I am tired. I can't continue the fight. My heart has given out, my will is receeding, and I am just a shadow of the person I used to be. But I will become someone different, and those who don't fight to be remember will be lost.
Goodnight
The sounds are softer, the movements are slower, and the sunlight only comes in trails not warm blanketed sheets. I've been dreaming alot lately. And alot of them are really disturbing. None that I really wish to remember but all pointing to a great sense of loss. But I've never been a quitter.
It's tiresome thing now to think your not wanted. More just like cold medicine you keep in your cabinet when your sick. Only when you actually need it. I'm definitely turning inward. And there hasn't been anyone to show me any reason not to.
I've been out more times then I have fingers. I've met, courted, dated, befriended more people then there are days in a month. And yet nothing. Just like a blank stare, nothing. And now I feel it creeping into everything. What needs to be done gets done with no passion as once was before. I'm here just waiting for the next page.
But at least I'm alive to touch upon the little joys around us in life. It seems sometimes that is all that is truely left good amoung us.
I am tired. I can't continue the fight. My heart has given out, my will is receeding, and I am just a shadow of the person I used to be. But I will become someone different, and those who don't fight to be remember will be lost.
Goodnight
