A post long time coming....
Feb. 27th, 2003 12:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tsumikSo I admit I could have posted quite a bit more these days. It's not like I don't have the opportunities and I do venture to see all of your lives are doing quite often. But I don't ever feel like writing. Well today is one of those days I guess.
So I called my mother this evening and while it's always good to talk to her she had news while happy was also very sad. My father is looking to get his promotion to main director of engineering at Lockheed. Which is fantastic cause no one deserves it more then him. But the part that put a very sinking sad feeling into my heart was the fact they will be moving to Orlando. Now mind you I'm 25, I have my own place, etc .etc. But I guess it just the way my mother mentioned I need to come look through all the stuff in the house and collect my packed boxes of things that I have left in there basement. Stuff from high school, college, etc. And that's what made me sad. My parents are handing over the last bits of things I own that I have left with them. I'm now on my own I guess. The once small hands of mine which used to hold on to theres so tightly now have to let go. I guess it's cause it reminds me of there mortality. My parents will be gone someday and that is a burden that haunts me and scares me dearly. It's funny cause I don't fear my own death at all. But all my loved ones' I fear worse then any imaginable pain.
It's silently crying at the thoughts of how far I've come through my life and that I'm getting older and the childhood years have ended. No more wide eyed fresh out of college kid traveling to Times Square. Now I'm a senior designer by day manager of 10 dj's by night.
No longer can I afford to be aloof and irresponsible. My actions now dictate and impact my life to levels unimaginable. No more mom and dad to say it's all right things will be ok. Now I'm the one who has to tell myself that.
But on to happier notes. Tomorrow marks the first day my production company, StillVapor, signs 4 new members, a 10 week partnership to throw a weekly event, and becomes a recognized mark among production companies. We haven't even crested our one year anniversary mark and already we're a lot bigger then I ever thought we would be. But I do have a lot to do for tomorrow. So till next time I write... good evening.
So I called my mother this evening and while it's always good to talk to her she had news while happy was also very sad. My father is looking to get his promotion to main director of engineering at Lockheed. Which is fantastic cause no one deserves it more then him. But the part that put a very sinking sad feeling into my heart was the fact they will be moving to Orlando. Now mind you I'm 25, I have my own place, etc .etc. But I guess it just the way my mother mentioned I need to come look through all the stuff in the house and collect my packed boxes of things that I have left in there basement. Stuff from high school, college, etc. And that's what made me sad. My parents are handing over the last bits of things I own that I have left with them. I'm now on my own I guess. The once small hands of mine which used to hold on to theres so tightly now have to let go. I guess it's cause it reminds me of there mortality. My parents will be gone someday and that is a burden that haunts me and scares me dearly. It's funny cause I don't fear my own death at all. But all my loved ones' I fear worse then any imaginable pain.
It's silently crying at the thoughts of how far I've come through my life and that I'm getting older and the childhood years have ended. No more wide eyed fresh out of college kid traveling to Times Square. Now I'm a senior designer by day manager of 10 dj's by night.
No longer can I afford to be aloof and irresponsible. My actions now dictate and impact my life to levels unimaginable. No more mom and dad to say it's all right things will be ok. Now I'm the one who has to tell myself that.
But on to happier notes. Tomorrow marks the first day my production company, StillVapor, signs 4 new members, a 10 week partnership to throw a weekly event, and becomes a recognized mark among production companies. We haven't even crested our one year anniversary mark and already we're a lot bigger then I ever thought we would be. But I do have a lot to do for tomorrow. So till next time I write... good evening.
