A conversation between me and Latte D

[tsumik]

Thank you all for you support through this. I'm trying I promise you. But you know what makes this so very damn hard? Why she's the first person I can't walk away from no matter how much she thrashes my heart?

[10:50] Latte D: Just keep your chin up man. there are plenty out there better for you. You don't believe that now.. but you will
[10:51] TsumiK: well here is what is really spooking me out alot
[10:51] TsumiK: and making it so damn difficult to let go
[10:52] TsumiK: since i've been 10 i've had dreams of "some" girl
[10:52] TsumiK: and while all my life i've just thought she was some idealized representation of what i've wanted i have mental photographs of her in my head
[10:52] TsumiK: like little things, the freckles, smile, pitch of her voice etc.
[10:53] TsumiK: most of my girlfriends i trace there face, listen to there voice looking for a match
[10:53] TsumiK: and while i've found bits and pieces in kristina, dana, laura, sarah, etc etc i've never found an exact match
[10:53] TsumiK: and honestly that's partly what drove me away from kristina cause it was close
[10:54] TsumiK: reallly early when me and ashley started being together I started tracing her face one night and it all flooded back to me at once
[10:54] TsumiK: and it's an exact match
[10:54] TsumiK: and that's why i'm scared shitless
[10:54] TsumiK: cause dude i don't know what to do about that
[10:54] TsumiK: one dream about every month for 16 years
[10:55] TsumiK: and ever snap shot has been locked together with her and it's really scary as shit
[10:55] TsumiK: and that's why i can't shake her
[10:55] TsumiK: and that's part of why i'm being so damn crazy

So you can all think I'm crazy, psychotic or whatever but you put yourself in my shoe with 16 years of these dreams and run into that person and try walking away.

Comments

wow

[ms-kayla.livejournal.com]

that's intriguing. the problem seems to be that she's not ready. well, i know very very little of the situation, but i gather from her generally that she is less mature than you..which makes since considering the age difference, and that she's just getting into things when you're beginning to think of getting out of them. or so it seems. maybe in a few years she'll be ready. or maybe it isn't her you saw. there is always that possibility.