Boiling mad
Dec. 14th, 2004 12:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tsumikI am so mad right now I don't even know where to start. Seething mad. You know what's worse then fair-weather friends? Fake friends. Ones that charade all this stupid shit just cause they want something from you. No matter how much you've helped them, no much how much anguish you've taken on yourself to maintain a friendship, and no matter how many times you stick up for them, for them to turn around and spit right into your face.
*throws something* I really haven't been this mad in a really long time. And then to have the audacity to talk to me through other people cause they don't want a confrontation! Sleep in the bed you make! I mean seriously is it to much to ask to give me the respect of not talking to me through a third party?! All I ever asked for was honesty and this is what I get. Seriously fuck me for caring so many times.
To have to deal with someone with two addictions, emotional instability, and the god awful embarrassment of immaturity in public and still attempt to defend and care about someone is more then I wish anyone to bear. I mean for fuck sake why do I get dealt this sort of shit all the time. What did I do to deserve this?!
I'm sorry I cared enough to deal with all the crying, the drunkenness, the calls at 4:00 in the morning to come pick you up drunk after everything else you had been up to that night. Ugh I'm just wasting my breath. Why this even bothers me is beyond me. I guess that's what happens when you care.
All I know is this is not settling well with emotional nuclear bomb of a life I've been living the last two months. What a wonderful shit store Christmas may be. And work is definitely going to kill me before I ever make 30 at the rate I'm going. My own doing on that front but what else do I have to look forward to on a day to day spit in my face basis.
In other news:
-I got picked up as a photographer at another club. I can't wait to get that all going so then me and poland can rock this town photographically.
-Wednesday is the last day of school teaching till January which will be a nice break. Free time to do anything.
-Stillvapor and the DJ's are doing well for themselves and it makes me happy to see them succeeding and enjoying some success.
-I should hopefully be getting the laptop soon. (about damn time) and/or the new camera.
But I think I'm going to retreat to playing some piano. One of the few things that no matter what always seems to put me into a better state of mind.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2004-12-13 09:36 pm (UTC)and honestly...if i had a violin, id never be sad. i used to play and i used to get swallowed whole by it. know of any places selling decent violins for decent prices?
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Date: 2004-12-14 02:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-14 06:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-14 10:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-13 09:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-13 09:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-14 02:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-13 09:49 pm (UTC)...Erich, don't allow yourself to be used. People who drink a lot are users, I know because I played the game myself. You can't let yourself be a part of that...
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Date: 2004-12-14 02:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-14 06:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-14 03:06 am (UTC)Oh and if you think i'm kidding about this, i'll kick your ass ;) - I'm seriously going to call you near the end of this week so that we can plan a time to hang out. OH and I need your address so that I can send you a Christmas card :) You can email it to me if you'd like.
Lauren_alive@hotmail.com
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Date: 2004-12-14 10:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-14 02:55 pm (UTC)