One last entry of old...
Nov. 14th, 2001 04:55 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tsumikA long time dreaming. I prepare for the big journey where I enter the world a large on my own. Undefended and viewing to be an independent draws a lot of fear. Will I be good enough? Will I be accepted? One must wonder about these things. But it's nice to know I have set so much of my future up already. A solid foundation I can only feel blessed by God for. My soul mate who sings with the voice of an angel.
She warms my being softly and like twinkling of stars leaves me with a sparkle. A few days ago I read an article talking of the perspective of creativity. It's amazing how much I find with in me. Is it like horoscopes, which are so vague that everyone feels it talks about them? Or is it more in tune with the story my mother tells? The peacock with the three crowns? These large shoes I have to fill being destined for greatness. I won't ever be a king or bring world peace, but I'm to be not just successful but history impactful. But how will I do that? How does one impact history and always be remembered?
A lot of questions tonight. I'm guessing due to this big change into the unknown. I do know that if I am to impact history I don't want to do it without my soul mate. I want us to be remembered. Like Neapolitan and Cleopatra. Left in history as the greatest lovers like Adonis and Venus. Truly Kristina is like Venus, clear bright and heavenly in the soft bath of the moonlight. The love I feel as I hold her. Does anyone even know? Would anyone understand my feeling of being lost, but not caring where? Like being lost in a garden of flowers on a summers day with a cool breeze and soft grass under your bare feet. That's her.
But I'm lost with out her. Flowers but with no one to hand them too. Can you wallow in bliss without having someone to share it with? We cry only for show. That's what I've been told. With out others we would have no need to cry. But why would someone not want that? And bliss. It's not still I figure. As one sings with all there soul and truly "sings" on things of a flutter or vibrato of emotions. When someone breaths in slowly and lets out that breath with infinite emotion they stutter and shudder there eyes as to let it out only softly because all at once would be too much.
And what sort of art could one create to mimic this? A swirling, bright fire or something much more soft and misted. A sculpture which moves within itself. Balance. One part fire the other part misted rain in soft blue. Each side swirling, dancing bringing bliss from one change to another. Can this be done?
She warms my being softly and like twinkling of stars leaves me with a sparkle. A few days ago I read an article talking of the perspective of creativity. It's amazing how much I find with in me. Is it like horoscopes, which are so vague that everyone feels it talks about them? Or is it more in tune with the story my mother tells? The peacock with the three crowns? These large shoes I have to fill being destined for greatness. I won't ever be a king or bring world peace, but I'm to be not just successful but history impactful. But how will I do that? How does one impact history and always be remembered?
A lot of questions tonight. I'm guessing due to this big change into the unknown. I do know that if I am to impact history I don't want to do it without my soul mate. I want us to be remembered. Like Neapolitan and Cleopatra. Left in history as the greatest lovers like Adonis and Venus. Truly Kristina is like Venus, clear bright and heavenly in the soft bath of the moonlight. The love I feel as I hold her. Does anyone even know? Would anyone understand my feeling of being lost, but not caring where? Like being lost in a garden of flowers on a summers day with a cool breeze and soft grass under your bare feet. That's her.
But I'm lost with out her. Flowers but with no one to hand them too. Can you wallow in bliss without having someone to share it with? We cry only for show. That's what I've been told. With out others we would have no need to cry. But why would someone not want that? And bliss. It's not still I figure. As one sings with all there soul and truly "sings" on things of a flutter or vibrato of emotions. When someone breaths in slowly and lets out that breath with infinite emotion they stutter and shudder there eyes as to let it out only softly because all at once would be too much.
And what sort of art could one create to mimic this? A swirling, bright fire or something much more soft and misted. A sculpture which moves within itself. Balance. One part fire the other part misted rain in soft blue. Each side swirling, dancing bringing bliss from one change to another. Can this be done?
