tsumik

I stayed up until 4am and finished all my Ikea furniture. I just have to put in the drawers when I get them hopefully this weekend. It's HUGE but so nice. Once everything is cleaned up and put away I'll take pictures for you all.

But I just caught the train this morning. In fact it was just starting to pull away and stopped just to let me on which tells me today will be a little bit of sunshine. Hopefully it will continue on tonight as I have my date finally with Ashley.

I can't tell you how excited I am. Nervous but excited :)

It does make me think of something I thought about while watch Memoirs of a Geisha. An artist does not follow a selfish path. I believe that in some of our darkest moments where we fight to survive is where we find the truest nature of our creative self. At such a raw level of emotion where all the calloused feelings sheild us from everyday life yet block in the expressiveness that makes us human. It take a heavy emotional scraping to peel away all those layers to get to person hidden inside.

An artist need to be close to that level. So close to themselves yet bold in casting themselves out to create those artworks that truly mark something beautiful. Much like containing one self in all those past emotions being selfish and only looking inward at ones own wants leaves a person creative flow hinder inside and not expressing outwards.

In much in this way sacrifice of self and leaving ones self open for all is where a true artist resides. This might seem why such great artist seem so tortured in their lifetimes. Instead of hiding there fears and demons or even coffering their own emotional trays these artist e everything out good and bad for the world to see.

So while I have been constantly down about being alone I have attempted to keep myself in that raw state knowing days like today would come. Might as well find the artist in myself instead of glossing over it and be emotionally numb.