I so didn't want this to happen

And slowly it all begins. I can feel the anger, I can feel the bitterness, and I can feel how much this is not going to turn out good.

All I can say is Why? Why? Why? I _STILL_ don't know what happened no matter how many times I've asked. I feel like I'm going insane. No wonder men have shorter lifespans.

Breathe

As the suger of my heart spins in tears I look for the resolve to carry on. To find the words, the voice, and the song to hold me from falling over. A painters dream to find the paintery swirls of color that lend to beautiful movement. A poets wish to find the pattered out written forms to connect the meaning behind the lines. A singers scream to find a spray of sunshine on peaceful eyelids.

I hope for such things. Hope. *smile* what a beautiful word. Such a hard thing to grasp such as faith. Even admist all the opposition and all the stones cast I still gasp for that breath. While it would be so easy to turn away from life and let the last sea of emotion swallow me under, I must fight. Perhaps I won't sail my ship in the same direction but I will continue to sail. Paradise is out there somewhere.

So cast me against the stones yet again. I won't give in.